Monday, March 21, 2005

Give

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Date: Wed, 16 Mar 2005 00:44:12 -0800 (PST)
From: libao jheng libaojheng@yahoo.com


There was a time in my life I became afraid to fall in love. Because every time I fell in love, I got hurt. I thought maybe that's why it's called fallin in love. I would give my all, loving deeply and wholeheartedly. It would be a truly emotional, extremely euphoric experience. I would be dreaming about the object of my affection all day and all night, imagining good times together, thinking of what I can do or buy for him to show how much I care. I would feel light as a feather, energized and excited, literally blooming with the joy I feel inside. Then somehow things would go wrong and my whole world would crash. Disappointment. Resentment. Anger. Pain. Why? Can we not love without feeling pain? Is it really a price to pay for all the happiness we feel when we are in love? Should we just accept that because we love, we risk getting hurt? It was only after many years of soul-searching and reading inspirational writings that I realized that we could love without getting hurt. Only recently did I understand what unconditional love is all about. Love is one of the most powerful forces in the universe. It is the fire that burns inside, the essence of being. Love is the source of all our comfort and contentment. It is a precious gift that defines our purpose in life. If we keep in mind that we can indeed preserve its true meaning, we can love to the fullest and be happy the rest of our lives. Accept that other people express love differently.

How do you express love? She says, I love you three times a day, kiss and embrace as often as she can, she never forgets anniversaries, she always makes his favorite dishes. How does he express his love? He rarely says I love you, he seldom kisses her, he forgets her birthday, and he doesn't know how to cook. But he worked overtime, walks the dog, takes out the garbage, takes her to movies, and calls her honey. He probably loves her more than you can imagine, he just shows it differently; if you can accept that then you will have a healthier perspective of your relationship. Derive happiness from giving love. When you love, do it because you want to. There is an indescribable joy in loving. Just give it. And cherish satisfaction in having given someone something of yourself. It's like giving a gift. Whether it is appreciated or not, find joy in simply giving. Love without expecting anything in return.

This is where pain comes in...When you demand something in return for the love you give. You are setting yourself up for disappointment because love cannot always be reciprocal.

Love between two people can never be of the same intensity at the same time and place.
No matter how much your partner loves you, she will never be able to fill all your needs all the time. And you will be in the worst situation if you believe you should love only when you are sure to receive equal love in return. You will be waiting in misery forever. Love now. The past is gone and the future is just a dream. All of yesterdays aches and pains, as well as the loves and laughter, are mere memories. Let them go. Fantasies and worries are for a future that may never come. Don't dwell on them. Give now. Give love now. Do it now and enjoy it now. That is the secret of genuine contentment. Throw away those destructive habits. When you insist upon yourself what you always have to be in control, that you always have to be right, that others must always please you, you put yourself in a very tight spot.

Loving relationships are flexible, dynamic, and evolving. Leave room for change and interaction. Allow for new behavior and learning experiences. When we welcome these into our lives, we open ourselves to sharing more love and affection and less frustration and pain. Yes, you will say that unconditional love is easier said than done. I agree. Especially when we have always believed that love is give and take. But try believing that love is simply giving. And you will be surprised that a lot of it, even more, actually comes back to you. We can give without loving but we cant express love without giving.

In life, love is never planned nor does it happen for a reason. But when the love is real, it becomes your plan for life and your reason for living.

You can't make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved; the rest is up to the person to realize your worth.

It's better to lose your pride to the one you love, than to lose the one you love because of pride.
We spend too much time looking for the right person to love or finding fault with those we already love, when instead we should be perfecting the love we give.

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